I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
