just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
