I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
