he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
