At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
