He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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