I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
