we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
