i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
