My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
