He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
