ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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