she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
