dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize