but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
