I feel great
I just peed on a car
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
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They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
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You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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