I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
