I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
