I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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