i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize