Dude my mom stole all your condoms
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
