I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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