some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
