we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
