And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
