i think i have herpe
just one?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
