return my video game
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
