just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
