my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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