...so i touched it.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
They took my balls.
I AM VODKA MAN
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I love you.
Bad choice
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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