He uses pillows to masturbate.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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