Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
