My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
