Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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