how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
