How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
