whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
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