also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
