chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
