I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
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I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize