I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
