but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
