YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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