Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
