is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
