Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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