I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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