Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize