he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
