Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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