He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize