you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
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Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need moral support for this bender
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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