i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
