i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
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Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
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I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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