your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
