I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
