Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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