Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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